A Look Under The Hood

I felt like doing a little something different today. I wanted to give my readers a look under the hood, if you will, at who I am and what I've been through to get to this point in my writing venture. So if you are interested I hope you enjoy the rest of this piece and if you're not, I will see you in my next article.

I began writing for fun. I always got top marks in my writing, literature, and English classes. It just came naturally to me. On the opposite scale though, I was, and still am, mostly terrible with math. From fractions on, I am a mess. I could write for days if I had the time and energy to do so. I have so much going on up in this brain of mine that I feel like I would need multiple lifetimes to get it all out lol. My ultimate goal is to write a book. I am currently on that journey, but it's still a long road ahead.

The first NFL season I ever watched was the '94 season ending with the 49ers defeating the San Diego Chargers in the Super Bowl. I have seen every Super Bowl since then, totaling 25 Seasons and Super Bowls. I also love the history of the NFL as well. I love watching the old "NFL Films" television programs, feature films, and documentaries. Everything I didn't see "live" with my own eyes, I would take in like a newly opened sponge so I knew as much as I could about the game I love, past and present.

I took my love of football to the field. I started playing at the local parks. Pick up games with friends and random groups we would find playing there already, or visa versa. And not just some random 5-year-olds lol. I played against BIG dudes. Semi-Pro players from my local area. College players from 2 of the local schools. Obviously they weren't stars. They wouldn't be out there. But as a 16-18-year-old kid getting huge props from college football players on actual teams, It was clear early on that I had some talent. I could catch almost anything. I know it comes off as boasting, but I had the best hands out of anyone I ever played with. I ran a 4.5 40 yard dash, I wasn't the fastest on the field but I was quick and had "football speed" as they say. I modeled myself after Deion Sanders on defense and Barry Sanders on offense. I could juke people out of their shoes. My favorite thing to do on D was to play against a QB who never played against me before. I would bait them so bad lol. I would give the WR just enough slack so the QB would think they were open and as soon as he threw it I was on it like a hawk and before they knew it I was taking it back to the house for 6. I was good, and I knew it. So when I went to go play for my High School I was probably a little too high on myself.

3 seniors and a jr had the starting WR spots. I get it, they earned their spots, but I knew I was better than them. So riding the bench wasn't the easiest thing to handle for me. I played in JV games, which really frustrated me. For one, I knew I deserved an actual spot in the real roster and two, the JV QB couldn't throw to save his life. But, the assistant coaches actually got to see first hand what I could do. When the head coach missed a day they would give me starting reps. My teammates started seeing how good I actually was. But did that matter to the head coach? Nope. I couldn't stand the prick. He didn't like me either.

But on the last game of the year, I got put into one play. That one play was with time winding down. I got the call, I lined up and the ball was snapped. I ran my route, a little 5 yard out. The defender played off of me enough where the QB sent a bullet my way. I caught it and had enough room to juke the corner. I took off running with about 15 yards to go. I got down to about the 8 when the nearest corner came running at me from my left. He tried to pull me down from my shoulder but I got enough of a stiff arm on him to push him off. Down to the 5, 4, 3... Saftey comes down on me, I spin off him. I go to turn into the endzone. The bastard got my foot. I started to fall, I stretched and hit the ground. I looked up, ref standing over me and he lifted both hands up to signal a touchdown. Everyone came running into the endzone jumping all over me. One of the best football memories of my life. With about 40 seconds still left to go, the rival team ran down and scored to win the game... Well.. being the hero was fun while it lasted.

The following year I was set to start. I knew I was going to be the #1 WR. Except I wasn't. I was young and full of myself. I felt I deserved the #1 slot and it felt to me that the coach didn't want to give in to the fact that he was wrong. So when I wasn't given that of which I felt I earned, I quit. The assistant coaches tried to talk me out of it, but I was too stubborn to listen. "Fuck him! I'll never play for that piece of shit" I clearly remember saying. I wanted to go to college and play with a scholarship. I am not going to get that if I am not used properly. So like an idiot, I decided to just go and call schools. Give them my information, try to network a little bit. The 2 schools that were my biggest supporters were Rutgers and SMU. They wanted me to come to take a tour around but I am petrified of planes lol. Though I would have to take tons of planes if I planned on playing college football. Remember I was young and stupid. Out of the two, I would have loved to play for SMU.

All I needed to do, was get my GPA to a 4.5 and the real process would begin. I went to a private college and graduated with my associates. I ended with a 4.34. Do you know why? MATH!! Evil! I had practiced almost every day, alone, sometimes with help, running routes, running the 40, catching passes, 2 hands, 1 hand, over the shoulder, on the sideline, sprints. Everything. And I didn't even make the grades needed... I just threw in the towel and went back to playing pickup football where I suffered a massive concussion and the next time I got on the field I was so... I don't want to say afraid, but it was just... different. I didn't feel the same. I walked off the field in the middle of a game and I never played again.

I then went from wanting to play football, to wanting a career in writing about it. From about '08 to '13 I wrote for many upstart websites that never lasted for more than a year. I would network and try to find places to get my work seen. But it was a bit disappointing and discouraging when, one after another, these websites I was writing for struggled and/or folded. I could never get on a platform long enough to gain exposure. I believe I went through maybe 5 or 6 websites. A couple of months at a time. The longest was about a year and 4 months. For a while, I thought THAT was going to be my big break. Obviously it wasn't.

Through my journey of writing, I did happen to meet this fellow who got me a spot on a popular website. It was a decent paying gig, however, I couldn't write about sports. The spot offered to me was writing about WWE. I watched the product when I was a kid, back when it was WWF. When it was Hulk Hogan vs Ultimate Warrior. Bret Hart vs Shawn Michaels. Stone Cold vs The Rock. After that, I knew nothing about it. But I figured if I could somehow do a decent enough job, maybe I could end up moving over to the Football side of things. So I dove into the opportunity hoping for the best. I started watching WWE, catching up on what happened before, and covering it in the present time. I was then given a couple of assignments in the TV Show department, which I took as a good sign of progression. But after a couple of months, the majority of assignments were still all wrestling. I started to get frustrated. I couldn't bring myself to sit down and write about something I couldn't stand watching. On top of that, I started having issues with the people I was mostly in contact with. They were rude and more often than not, a bunch of egotistical pricks. I quit and was so angry with the whole situation and everything that lead up to this point that I just didn't want to write at all anymore. So I didn't.

When the BIG3 started, 3 years after I stopped writing, I got that itch again. I wanted to come back to cover it. But I hadn't written in so long and I had nowhere to post my work, so I smothered the idea before it really got any life. I could have made my own website but I've seen what happened to those other start-up websites that didn't last very long. What was the point? Then in 2018, the XFL was announced to be coming back in a new way. I didn't like the first attempt. I thought it was a joke. But everything I heard from this new version I really liked. Now the wheels really started turning. I could cover the BIG3 and the XFL. Maybe... I don't know lol. I talked myself out of it and put it all to bed.

2020. I have a wife, a kid, a dog. My family, I love more than life. Things are steady. Balanced. I am 100x more humble and appreciative than my younger self. I really started thinking about giving writing another shot. A serious consideration this time. It's been about 6-7 years since I wrote about anything. I tweeted about some stuff I liked, but that wasn't the same as writing a couple of full-on columns every week. The BIG3 had ended a thrilling season back in the summer, the NFL just finished a great season of their own, and the XFL was banging 4 weeks in. The want to write again was so bad that I finally gave in. "I'll Do It!" I said to myself. I'll make my own website and I'll write about the XFL and BIG3. That was my plan. So my twitter name became Summers_XFLBIG3 and on my newly made website, I labeled myself as an XFL and BIG3 specialist.

On March 5th I wrote my first column. In the first 3 days, I wrote 6. I was covering the XFL like a hungry beast. I engaged with the community. I supported the league. I was full steam ahead. Week 5 was fantastic. I felt alive again (in my writing "career") and I wanted more! The BIG3 wasn't starting until the Summer, and while I could talk about it whenever I wanted, I realized I didn't want to handcuff myself. I didn't want to box myself into being someone only linked to the XFL and the BIG3. My biggest burning passion was covering sports logos and uniforms. I have always loved them. It was what got me into sports in the first place. I wanted to be able to freely cover that. I wanted to be able to talk Hockey and the NFL as well.

So during that week, a month after I started, I decided to strip away anything that solely linked me to just the XFL and BIG3. While I was still going to cover them as I would of anyways I needed to make it clear publicly that I was more than that. So I redesigned my website, renamed it, and changed my twitter handle to ScottSummersJRN (JRN abv. of Journalism). It was a good thing I did because even though the XFL had been put on hold due to the COVID-19 virus, 5 days after I made these changes the XFL closed its doors for good and filed for bankruptcy. It probably sounds weird, but I was glad I made that decision for myself before that all happened, instead of the decision being made for me by being forced to change due to the XFL closing.

Now we have every sports league closed, suspended, or canceled. No definitive answers on a date reopening for any league. No one knows what the sports world is going to look like going forward. Luckily we have had NFL teams getting logo changes and new uniforms. This is a win-win for me, as it gives me something to write about AND it is my favorite subject to cover. I have loved every part of it.

It took me 6-7 years to get back to writing and covering sports. And in one month of doing so, everything shuts down lol. Do I have good timing or what? But even though the XFL is down and out and we don't know when sports will be back, all of this has brought back my passion for writing. I love coming up with new ideas to write about. My "Favorite in Team History" series has been so much fun and I still have 27 more teams to cover. I have also live-tweeted classic games to give myself and those who care to follow me, some entertainment for a couple of hours. I have done "The Comeback" game, where the Buffalo Bills erased a huge deficit to beat the Houston Oilers in the Playoffs. And the last game I live-tweeted was the Jacksonville Jaguars defeating the heavily favorited Denver Broncos in the 1996 playoffs. It isn't much, but it's fun.

When I used to write back then, I was always worried about views and followers. I needed more all the time. If I got 300 views on one article and then 20 on the next I would instantly go in panic mode. If I was stuck at 100 followers I was standing on a sinking ship. Now, I don't care about all that. My passion is writing, no matter if a million people read, or just one. Or maybe none. I have 40 followers on twitter, but I tweet like I am talking to the world. It just doesn't matter to me anymore. I want people to follow me and to read my work because THEY want to. Not because of some follow train or "hey, I'll follow you if you follow me" type of deal. If I follow you, there is a reason for it. If you follow me and I head to your profile and see nothing of use to me, nothing I am interested in, then I'm sorry, I won't follow. If that means you unfollow, then so be it lol. Just shows you weren't actually interested in my content, to begin with. High numbers of views and followers don't make your content better. It doesn't mean you are better at what you do than those with less. I have seen plenty of "experts" with high views and followers who, in my opinion, really don't know what they are talking about. The spirit of who I am is in my work. Big numbers or no numbers at all. This is who I am. And I am proud of that.

I plan to keep writing as I have been for the foreseeable future. I believe I am good at it. Not the best of course, but I am confident in my skills (just not as big-headed about it as my younger self). My sports knowledge isn't a science, it's always a gut feeling. I am not always right, I don't pretend to know everything, I will always say when I don't know something and especially when I am wrong. There is nothing wrong with that. I am all about truth and honesty. No one is always right. No matter who you are. Remember when Chris Brussard "NBA Insider" tweeted: "Kawhi in deep soul searching. Wants Lakers but wants to make sure Big 3 will fit/work. Clippers out. It’s btwn Lakers & Raptors. Very close". And then Kawhi went to the Clippers Lol. I always remember one tweet someone had sent him after that. It went something like "Here is a live look at Chris Brussards sources" and it was a picture of a bunch of stuffed animals on a couch. I laughed so hard. That was a massive fail. But it just goes to show that even "experts" get things wrong. And I never say "I KNOW" something, it's always just my opinion. And a gut feeling.

If you made it this far, thank you for taking the time out to read a little bit about myself. Bits make me look like a moron, even an asshole at times, but that is the way things go sometimes. You make mistakes. You fall down. And sometimes it is hard to get back up. But you got to try. Not being able to make it to college to play football allowed me the opportunity to meet the most beautiful, smart, and funniest person I have ever met. My wife. I wouldn't trade an NFL Hall of Fame career for her. And I absolutely mean that with every ounce of me.

I appreciate the love and support from everyone who reads my work. I will keep turning out more articles as the weeks and months go on and I hope for all of our sake that sports will come back to us, sooner rather than later. But this is going to make for one hell of a "30 for 30" lol.

- Scott Summers